Going Out In Style: Location, Location, Location

By Dee Oliver

When Johnnie died I remembered having long discussions with the men in his office about where he was to be buried.  Until that moment I either had forgotten or didn't realize that I had so many choices!

Its kinda like getting dressed up and going into your closet and for the first time realizing that you own six or seven pairs of black leather pumps all very similar and all will match the dress that I am wearing but which pair shall I choose?

Same problem here: Johnnie and I collectively own quite a bit of cemetery property; some in Forrest lawn where a few of my family members are laid to rest. There is a family lot in Saint Mary's cemetery where his parents are buried and he had some more family plots in Elmwood, all of these resting places are located in the city of Norfolk.

There is also an entire cemetery which he owned and loved (if you can love a cemetery) in Suffolk; Nansemond/Suffolk Cemetery.

My family, besides owning the lots in Forrest Lawn, owns a lovely lot in Eastern Shore cemetery which is located in Virginia Beach right behind our beach office. That is where my mother, grandparents, and my aunt and uncle reside.

Now came the decision, where shall he be laid to rest? Norfolk was the first to be tossed out, there was not enough room for all of us and I wasn't crazy about the location.

Which left Suffolk and the Beach,

Now Suffolk posed a bit of a problem because he loved that piece of property. It is 40 acres of grass. If anyone knew this man they knew that he loved to cut grass. He thought it was a sport.

Remember that show Green Acres? Johnnie thought we should live out there in a trailer.  Me? Not so much.

My family lot is wonderful and plenty of room there for all of us. It is close to the office and our home. One problem though was that the family stone has Branch on it. We all felt that Johnnie needed a stone with Oliver on it...after all, he's in the business!

So what’s a girls to do? That's easy she just buys more!! Just like shoes!! Can’t ever have enough! Even if they all look alike and do the same job.

So I bought six plots right across the little street from my family lot!!!

Perfect!

Close enough to my parents, far away enough from the in-laws.

Why am I telling you all this?

Well, again…..”us professionals” didn't really ever make the choice about where we wanted to be buried. We kind of talked about it from time to time, but we never really make any definite decisions. Which left it up to me after he died.

So here I was again…..making another very important decision in a short period of time causing me and the men at the office unnecessary stress.

Here is my advice to you; find out if your family owns any burial property, where it is located, how much space is available, and who's name is on the deed. The person who’s name is on the deed gives the permission on who is allowed to be buried on the lot.

Now if you need to buy burial property, go and look at the cemeteries. All cemeteries have a person on staff to help you with your questions. You can call ahead and make an appointment or stop in. The small building which is usually located at the front entrance is the office.

Some questions you might want to ask:

How much are the lots? 

What kind of headstones do they allow? 

Are there sections for different religions? Some cemeteries have that options. 

Do they bury two deep? Meaning I have 6 lots for Johnnie and I but the cemetery will allow burials two deep so I actually have 12. 

 Do they require you to buy their own vaults or can you buy one from the funeral home? A vault is the concrete box that the casket goes into. It protects the casket from the weight above ground and helps to keep the ground level.

Are there any restrictions for flowers?  Are you allowed to add plantings? 

How much do they charge for opening and closing the grave? 

Can you add cremains later to the same grave?

Now walk around, is the cemetery nice? Well manicured? Cared for?

Remember, cemetery property is an investment. So like any investment you shouldn't wait until the death of a love one to make these decisions.

You spend the time selecting the neighborhood where you live now. You should spend some time looking and choosing where you will be forever.

So say your prayers, Say I love you, trust in God and try to Go Out in Style

Dee