Going Out In Style: The Name Game

By Dee Oliver

Have you ever really looked at your mail? Take a look at it, who are the bills addressed to?

This is one of those everyday things that most people don't pay much attention to.

The bills are delivered to your house, one of you writes the check, then the water flows, lamps are lit, the phone is ringing and the heat and ac are humming right along.

All things are right with your world…..and no one gives it another thought….until the  primary name on these and other accounts is no longer here.

This is when the name game begins--you can sort of continue to pay all your bills without the other person present on earth--that is until the moment there is a problem, repair, or a change to an account.

Most companies, and utilities will have no issue transferring the primary name over to the surviving spouse with a copy of the death certificate.  But like many things in life, there are the exceptions….

When Johnnie died there wasn't much of an issue with the gas company,  power company, or some of the credit cards--Nordstroms was delightfully accommodating!

And to this date there are still a couple of things that are still in his name such as the water /sewage and the telephone.

I don't think  the water/sewage  company really cares about the name game just as long as the bill gets paid, but the phone company…well they had a much harder time accepting Johnnie's death than I did.

After many attempts to help them understand that he was no longer with us,  I finally gave up and  just decided to let Verizon be in denial about his death, and I believe they are good with that.

So whenever they  have come to my home for a repair I just pretend that Johnnie is at work, that way the problem is fixed no questions asked.

I am not sure if this is the best solution…..but it is working for now.

What's the old saying? A girl's gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

Unfortunately not everyone is so easily satisfied;…. hence the mortgage company (this was a blue job in our home) you see my name was on the deed to the property, but not on the mortgage for the house.

These people adamantly refused to speak to me at all, even though I was trying to pay them and they had in their possession an original copy of the death certificate . It didn't matter, they continued to be difficult and frustrating on all accounts.

 Every phone call started out the same way "We are sorry for your loss Mrs. Oliver but we cannot discuss the details of the mortgage with you, only Mr. Oliver". Even my tears didn't persuade them.

At one point I even thought of  going to get  Johnnie and bringing him to them (only kidding)…. Of course this should only be done by professionals. :-)

In the end the house was re-mortgaged to get it out of his name and into mine and I ended up with a better interest rate!  That would become one of the many blessings we received  from God.

I had the same problem with  the car, an old insurance policy, and the alarm system; We had never used the alarm before….but I wanted the security of the alarm since I was alone. First time….I set off the alarm!

  

Did I know the code or password????

NO!  Again with, “We are so so  sorry for your loss….Mrs. Oliver"

Are they really???

They would not call off the police until they could speak to Mr. Oliver. Funny thing, none of these people ever wanted to speak to him before.

This went on until I thought that I had finally transfered over everything into my name. With the exception of the water/sewage and phone.

Until……….

Just last month I wanted to be able to get my e-mail on my phone…simple?

Never!

That is when I found out that I did not know the password to our cox e-mail account. I didn't know there was a password and I don't think if John was here he would have known it either, but he is the primary on the  account….."Sorry for your loss Mrs. Oliver….since we are unable to speak with Mr. Oliver we will have to cancel your account, delete all your e-mails and folders and start a new account."

 Really???? Really???? This is four years later….Please.

This time I was able (with a lot of prayer) to work my way through the system and got a person that would help me and fix the problem.

I realize that these in themselves are small matters to deal with, but if you compound them the death of a spouse or even a parent, these everyday issues become exhausting, exasperating, and completely overwhelming leaving you  to wonder if your world is ever going to be the same as it once was.

So while these are still small and just somewhat annoying problems to sort out, take the time to double check on them.

Then when (not if) this happens to your family you will be a bit better prepared

 Here are some additiional  other items you might want to take a look at and/ or at least find out where they are!!!

Bank accounts

Safety deposit Box; are both your names on the signature card? Where are the keys?

Do you have a secret bank account ? Be careful or it could be a secret forever.

Pin numbers, passwords, P.O Box?

Stocks/ bonds?

Where are those Birth Certificates? You will need that when a death occurs.

Passports? Insurance Papers? 

Your Will…..don't have one? Get one!

Were you in the military?? Where oh where are those discharge papers??? You’ll need it for the flag that you are entitled to!

So…….

Say your prayers, say I love you, trust in God, and try to go out in style!!!

Dee