Going Out In Style: Stuff

 By Dee Oliver

 

I never saw a u-haul following a hearse to the cemetery……………..

Look around your home. See all of that stuff?

You know the stuff.....the things in the garage, the attic, basement, your linen closet, china cabinet, kitchen cabinets, jewelry box,  the art work, family photos, the nicknacks, look at it all closely. Isn't it lovely??

All of these items bring you and your family  pleasure. Belongings you've acquired over the years of marriage, things that have been past down from your parents  or grandparents.

 All of these objects  should have a warning label on them "Beware: Danger after Death.  May Cause Family Fallout!

Let me explain...

Most  people have wills drawn up. If you haven't done this please do!  For the most part wills are composed of the large assets you own, but not always the little (some valuable, some not) items that can leave your children never speaking to each other again.

Impossible ? No, very probable!

Crazy what a bunch of books, a frying pan, and old nicknacks can do to rip apart a family.

I know this could never  happen in your family.

In your family, everyone gets along, they all love each other.....you taught them how to share!

Well, you are dead wrong!

I have seen these fallouts start in the office, continue thru the funeral service, and carried right on out to the grave. Lord only knows what happens after that.

I am ashamed to admit it but.....even in the "professional" families this event has been played out.

People get extremely emotional, sentimental, and I hate to say greedy over "things".

So gather your children together and start by pulling out your prized possessions.  Take the time to tell them about each item, where it came from, who bought it and what the occasion was.

What about the furniture? Do you have a set of family china? How about your grandmother's silver.

Family photographs, the blanket your aunt knit, dad's toolbox, those chipped juice glasses.....there will be an argument over those. Because everyone remembers drinking their juice out of those glasses every morning before going off to school. Every item has meaning to each family member.

I have some friends whose mother wrote on the back of every piece of art work she ever bought. She listed the cost of the piece, the date she bought it, where it came from, and who she was with when she purchased it. Now that she is gone each piece is a treasure part of their family history. I love this idea.

My own girls love their dad's wristwatch, he wore it everyday for twenty seven years, I doubt it is worth much. But the memory of him wearing it is priceless.

If your children are young do it for them. You can even tape it all on video.

Let everyone help in the decision selection, write it all down.

Now that it is just the girls and I, we have pretty much discussed who would like to have what. It is interesting to find out what objects mean the most to each one.  Besides, I am not really sure there would be any survivors if they were left to their own and had to duke-it-out.

Remember I taught them to share........

This is probably one of the most teachable times you will have with your family; not only do you get the opportunity to tell them and share stories about their ancestors and your family history, but you are securing the future of your family after you both are gone.  You are helping to extinguish the fires of jealousy, hate, greed and discontent among the most precious possessions you have: your children.

It has always broken my heart to see families torn apart over inanimate objects.  So make an enjoyable memory for your family and be a part of their future even after you are gone.

Say your prayers, say I love you, trust in God, and try to Go Out in Style,

Dee