Someday

By Trish Ryan

It's been a tough week. Sunday night, I heard that a High School friend passed away. Monday morning brought news that the father of two of Steve's best friends had died unexpectedly. Then another friend shared news of a miscarriage. Seasons like this can leave me spinning, wondering how to make sense of thing that bring so much heartache.

I've been through a few of these now, and here's what I've learned: they don't make sense. This life we live, this God who created us -- they are beyond our comprehension. These seasons force me out of the deception I tend to crawl under, the lie that says that I have things under control, or that people/circumstances must behave or unfold a certain way if I plan enough, label my organization bins in each closet, eat organic, and do everything else "right."

But the unveiling of this lie is the good news I've discovered in these moments of tragedy and sadness: the reminder that I am not in control and I don't carry the burden of understanding. This is such a relief when I let it soak in. It doesn't take away the hurt, of course. But like a layer of Neosporin that somehow helps a cut heal (something I also don't understand), this layer of "I don't get it, and that's okay" provides room for God to heal me inside.

Nichole Nordeman's song "Someday" talks about this tension, and the promise in God's Word that someday, we'll understand. Not because we scramble to figure it all out, but because God will reveal it.

Someday, we'll see how He's connected all the threads of hope and heartache, all the celebrations and disappointments (and days when we thought, "Meh...nothing much seems to be happening in my life...")

This is a week with much sadness, and yet (miraculously) I am not feeling defined by "sad." I have that weird sort of hope that comes from seeing God's light shining through lives lived well (even if, to our eyes, they were too short) and a brief little life swept up to be part of God's "someday," even now. I don't understand it, and yet it brings a quiet sort of joy in all that is possible with God, even when things here on Earth look impossible.

Sometimes, we're just waiting for someday...